Rain robber

A few weeks ago I was on the porch with Lacee enjoying a beer and the rain began to fall. When I say fall, I mean plummet. It was as if the skies opened up…

Lacee went inside but I didn’t budge. I felt the huge drops hit my face and began to submit myself to the sky. I had never just stood in the rain. I’d never let myself not run for shelter.

It started to get really cold, but I just leaned against the railing of the porch. I let the rain steal my heat; I let the rain clean my mind; I enjoyed the vacancy in my body.

My clothes were soaked, my hair was plastered to my head, and my teeth were chattering. Freezing in the rain was relaxing. Letting something else take over my body was beautiful.

Helping hand

I had gone to Stop & Shop to do my biweekly grocery shopping a few days ago. I brought my reusable bags and filled all five with healthy(er) foods and was ready to load them into my car. I pushed my cart out the automatic doors and down the ramp to the parking lot. In front of me was an obese, elderly woman in an electric wheel chair with her reusable grocery bag hanging off the back of the headrest of her wheelchair. I scooted around her and as I did I heard, “Miss?”

So, I turned around and she had stopped in the parking lot and was reaching around to the bag hanging off her chair. “Would you help me? I think I left a bag in the checkout line.” So, I took the bag off the head rest happily, and showed her the contents. “Oh, I had two bags…I must have left the other one inside. *grunt*” I put the bag back on her head rest and began to head back to my cart. No sooner did I turn around did I hear, “OH! Here it is!” She had tied it to the side of the arm rest. “It’s that time, I suppose. Ya’ll had better be good to us – it’ll be your time soon, ya know!” I humored her and laughed, told her to have a good rest of her day, and headed back to my car smiling. 

I put my groceries in the car, still smiling, excited that I had a story to tell Lacee when I got home. I pulled out of the spot and stopped at the edge of the parking lot to turn onto the busy street. Right beside me I saw the woman in the wheelchair cruising along…with two (yes two) cigarettes in her mouth. I laughed to myself and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving the smoking wheelchair in my past, with an entertaining story to look forward to in my future. 

Connecting with people, in any way, touches me – just as I hope it touches everyone else. I learn, I laugh, I collect experiences and stories that have no monetary value, but I keep them all the same. That’s what we’re all here for, right? To socialize and grow and build communities and enrich the human race. Smiling, laughing, crying, thinking, questioning, and learning – that’s why I go where I go and do what I do. Experiencing my life instead of just living it… is beautiful.

Predictable gratitude

Everyday we grow older; that’s a fact. We experience the growth day to day and moment to moment, however in my experience, I tend to just take it for what it is. I notice it sometimes and I acknowledge it, but I rarely sit and evaluate it. 

I got to Lacee’s house yesterday while she was still at work. I gathered up all the dirty laundry (her’s and mine) and started to put a load in the washing machine. Mindless, productive tasks keep my mind at bay and my heart rate down when I’m stressed, however I do let my mind wander sometimes and yesterday found myself contemplating my age. I am twenty-one years old. I have lived on my own, I have signed leases, I have bought a car, I have dealt with insurance companies and repair shops and realtors. I’ve done grown-up things. I make my own money, I do my own grocery shopping, and I make my own decisions. 

When I switched the laundry from the washer to the dryer, I started thinking about my future; where I was going to live, what my life would look like a few years from now after I graduate with my Doctor of Pharmacy degree. Would Lacee and I own a house by then? Would we be in the market to buy a house? What about family planning? Pets? Would we dress the same? Who would our friends be? And for the first time, I realized that there was no real way of knowing. The only way to have any control over the picture I was trying to see was to appreciate everything that I have right now. 

I need to appreciate that I have Lacee, and that we both have roofs over our heads and food in our kitchens (however scarce). I need to be grateful for my education and the learning opportunities that I have. I may have a lot of health issues right now, but I am grateful to be alive. 

Finding a place in my mind to be presently grateful; allowing myself to stop for one moment in my day to think about what I have and what I want and what I deserve… is imperative. However unbearable and unpredictable life may seem at times, being grateful for all that I have… is beautiful.